Empty Heart
by Spikes Hunnies
Summary: Back from the dead, Buffy seeks to rid herself of the emptiness she is feeling. Semi-S6 spoilers.


Untitled Document

Title: Empty Heart  


By: Hilary (SpikeLover) and Python Chick (Spike's Childe)  


Rating: R  


Summary: Buffy seeks a way to rid herself of the emptiness her resurrection has brought her.  


Spoilers: General S6 but nothing specific.

Author's Notes: This was written before the premiere of S6 showed so any similarities or differences are totally coincidental.  


Dedications: Py's dedications: This goes out to my Hunnies; I love you all. And to my muse, Hilsy, for coming up with the idea in the first place, and for asking me to co-write it with her and helping me with my scenes when I needed it.  
Hilary's: To Py for agreeing to write with me, to all the members of OGD for being my Spike-loving family, to my Hunnies who I love and to Fin just because. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It had been strange. When Buffy had decided to end her life on that fateful night after fighting Glory, she had never imagined that it would end up like this. She had merely wanted to do what was right; to save her sister and the world by giving up her own life, and she'd done it willingly. She hadn't realized it at the time, but she had wanted to do it. The last year of her life had been hard, almost too hard to bear. She had lost her mother, Riley had left, and she had nearly lost Dawn too. That was part of the reason she had been willing to give up her life, she wanted it to be over. She knew that Dawn and her friends would mourn her, but they would have each other as support and, in time, they would be able to move on with their lives, and she would have peace.

But now here she was, back among the land of the living. Coming back had been more terrifying than dying; she'd had to claw her way out of her own coffin and Dawn had found her, wandering around disoriented.

Naturally, her friends were all delighted that she was back, but Buffy couldn't feel that way. They all treated her like she was made of glass and she hated it. More than that, she hated the fact that they had all expected her to carry on like nothing had happened. Once they had been sure she was physically alright, they had wanted her to go back to slaying, to think about getting a job. Her life was one big chore to them; they didn't understand what had happened to her and it seemed they didn't want to. All they cared about was the fact that she was back with them and living out some pathetically mundane life.

She glanced across at Spike who sat beside her, watching the television. He was the only one that seemed to understand what she was going through. He lived a life of death and knew better than any of the others what it felt like. He also treated her with respect and made a point of not treating her as a fragile doll. She had found herself spending more and more time with him, just talking, but naturally things had progressed. Even before she'd died she'd known that his love for her was genuine but she'd never allowed herself to get close to him. Now that she was back, she wanted that closeness, she wanted to feel something, anything other than the dull emptiness her new life otherwise brought. She wanted to feel love, and Spike gave that freely.

As Buffy glanced at him, Spike caught her eye and flashed a small smile. Every time he saw her he had to convince himself that he wasn't dreaming. The night Buffy had died, he'd felt like a part of him had died with her, and the only thing that had kept him going was his promise to take care of Dawn. What had stunned him most of all was the fact that she had turned to him above all her friends and even her sister. She spent night after night in his crypt just talking about what was going on in her life and how it was making her feel. He'd offered a patient ear, chipping in when she wanted advice, and listening when she wanted to talk. It seemed to make her happy and at this point that was all that mattered to him.

Finally the most amazing day of his existence had happened. The day that he had played in his head over and over again. Buffy had been in his crypt for one of her usual visits and somehow they had started talking about love. She told him that love had been the strongest feeling she'd felt as she died, and it was what she missed most. For once it had left him speechless, he avoided talking about anything like that in front of her, not wanting to ruin what they had. But his silence had only spoken more loudly than his words could ever have done. Moments later she had leaned in and kissed him, saying that she'd been blind in not realizing that she had it right in front of her. And as they made love for the first time he'd felt a joy like nothing he'd ever felt before.

As the movie finished, Buffy flashed a grin at him.

"Dawn's staying at a friend's tonight."

Spike smiled coyly. "And?"

She grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. "And I'm ready for bedand so are you."

* * *

As Buffy pushed open the door to the magic shop, she took a deep breath and braced herself. She knew what was coming; it was the same every day. When they weren't telling her how bad Spike was for her, they were trying to get her to go out and patrol. She gave them the same argument all the time, she couldn't do it anymore and she wouldn't. If it was one thing death had taught her, it was that life was not to be taken. Demon or not, she couldn't bring herself to become a killer again, that's all she had been before. Slayer, killer, it all meant the same thing and she wanted to be more than that. They had tried to reason with her by pointing out all the lives she had saved but she was adamant. She wouldn't stop Spike and the others from patrolling but she wanted no part of it.

"Good evening, Buffy," Giles smiled as he emerged from the back room. "Did you have a pleasant evening last night?"

"With Spike?" she asked, feigning innocence and causing Giles to flinch.

"Yes, with Spike," he sighed wearily. "I don't suppose I can convince you to come patrolling tonight?"

She shook her head, amazed that he even bothered trying. "Giles, you ask me this every day and the answer is always the same. When are you going to give up?"

"When I can talk some sense into you," he snapped a little more harshly than he'd intended. "Honestly, Buffy, you're being very unreasonable about this."

Buffy stared incredulously at him. "Unreasonable? You want me to go out and kill things with my bare hands and you think it's unreasonable when I say no? What part of the world do you come from?'

Giles sighed. "I understand that you're going through something, Buffy. But is there any need to put innocent lives at risk?"

No, Giles. That's the point. You _don't _understand what I'm going through. If you did, you wouldn't ask me to do this."

She turned around just as the rest of the gang wandered through the door.

"Hey, Buffy." Willow greeted with a smile, only to have her friend storm past her and slam the door as she left. Without a word, Spike turned and went after her.

"What happened?" Dawn asked Giles but the Watcher merely shook his head with a weary sigh.

"Does anyone else thing Buffy is acting really weird?" Xander asked. "More so than since she got together with Spike."

He said the vampire's name with a shudder, as though it disgusted him. During the period when Buffy had been gone, they had all accepted Spike willingly. Dawn loved him like a brother and he was a good ally to have when patrolling. However, when Buffy had announced that she and Spike were an item, all that had changed. They had already been worried that she had been spending an unhealthy amount of time with him and this just showed them that he had clearly had this planned all along. He'd been playing the role of the friend, turning her against them so that he could get what he wanted. Now that he had her there was no telling where it might end up. But Buffy wouldn't listen to them; he had blinded her.

"This has nothing to do with Spike." Dawn snapped.

Xander shook his head sadly. Maybe he'd gotten to Dawn too.

* * *

Spike jogged quickly to catch up to Buffy's swift pace. "Calm down, pet. Tell me what happened."

Buffy said nothing but continued to walk.

"C'mon now." he said gently, positioning himself in front of her to stop her angry stride, his hands on her arms.

Looking up at him, she sighed heavily. "I've died twice in my life now, Spike. And both times, they've acted like it was nothing. It's like they say, 'Let's resurrect Buffy so she can keep saving us.'"

"You know that's not why they brought you back."

Spike's blue eyes bore into her hazel ones, and she stepped closer to him. "Take me home, Spike."

Once they reached her house, she led him upstairs and into her bedroom, closing the door and sliding off her jacket. He stood silent as she walked toward him, slowly and seductively, the look on her face screaming 'I want you' but her lips saying nothing. She placed her hands on the back of his neck and pulled him into a bruising kiss, her tongue demanding entrance into his mouth. His hands found her waist and pulled her against him, feeling the warmth radiate off of her slim body.

Yanking off his duster roughly, she tossed it on the floor and pushed him back onto the bed, climbing onto him, straddling his hips. Leaning down to kiss him, she ground herself against him, letting her need for him be known as his nimble fingers unbuttoned her top, leaving her in nothing more than a bra and shorts.

"God, you're beautiful." he said, his voice a husky whisper. He loved her with his entire being, and could hardly believe that he'd been given the gift of her affection. Weren't demons supposed to be creatures of the damned? Sure he was damned; damned lucky to have a girl like Buffy. She was strong and intelligent, not to mention the most beautiful creature he'd ever laid his eyes on. She was his entire world. No, she was more than that.

She was his sunlight.

Finding the hem of his shirt, she lifted it over his head, her hands exploring his muscled chest. Placing kisses on his chest, and working her way up to nibble on his earlobe.

"Make love to me." she whispered so quietly, he could hardly hear it, her breath tickling his ear. The need was heavy in her voice, but even heavier in her soul. She needed to be freed from her pain. She needed her emptiness to be filled, even if it was only temporary, and she knew Spike could provide her with the Earth-shattering relief she so desperately craved. "Please, Spike."

He didn't need her to ask twice as he grabbed her waist and flipped her over onto her back, covering his body with hers as he kissed her. His hands explored her body as he removed her clothing, pleasuring her with his lips, teeth, and tongue before removing his own clothing, sending them both over the precipice of ecstasy together.

As they lie in each other's arms afterward, he pressed a kiss to her temple. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was steady and deep. "I love you, Buffy." he whispered into her hair.

Yet she wasn't sleeping, he knew, for he heard her heartbeat increase in its pace as soon as the words left his lips. He could smell the fear roll off of her in waves and felt his own heart sink lower into his chest. Maybe he didn't have her affection after all.

She lay there with her eyes closed, hoping he would fall asleep soon. She didn't want to answer him.

Not yet.

Not now.

Not ever.

***

Spike woke early the next morning, as Dawn traipsed up the stairs, having spent the night at Willow and Tara's new apartment. They'd moved out of the Summers' home when Buffy had returned and finally settled back into her life, or rather, they thought she'd settled back in, but she felt like she was coastingwaiting for something to happen that would set her back into the game of life. At first she'd hoped Spike could reawaken her passion for life, but all he'd done was create a comfort zone for her; an easy escape from her problems.

And right now it was all she needed.

After hearing Dawn's door close, he noticed that Buffy was on the far side of the bed, having rolled out of his embrace during the night. He let out a heavy sigh, remembering falling asleep with her in his arms, her back pressed against his chest, and her fear. Did she fear him? Or did she fear something else? Something to do with his love? Then it hit him. All of the times he'd said that he loved her, that he adored her, that he worshipped the very ground she walked upon, she'd never returned his emotions. Not once, not even a sliver of a hint. She would always change the subject or pretend to sleep after they made love, like she had last night.

It tore his unbeating heart in two.

Glancing at the clock, the red numbers flashed 12:00 repeatedly. Someday they were going to have to set the damn thing. After accidentally pulling the cord out of the wall one night while they had what Anya once called "Olympic sex", they'd never bothered to reset it, in case it happened again.

He leaned over her and lightly kissed her cheek. She may not have spoken her true feelings to him, but that didn't mean he loved her any less. She was still his goddess and he was still love's bitch.

Climbing out of bed, he pulled on his jeans and headed downstairs, preparing a bag of blood for himself, and a light breakfast for his girlfriend. The microwave beeped and he pulled out the bag as he waited for the toaster to pop up, tearing off the plastic and emptying the contents into a mug, then drinking it down.

The house was always so quiet in the mornings. Dawn either slept in on the weekends or went to school, leaving the house to Buffy and himself. Suddenly the toaster snapped, the toast jumping up as if finally realizing they'd been sitting next to the broilers for nearly 2 minutes, and causing Spike's attention to be torn away from the now-empty mug he was holding.

He prepared her breakfast and brought it upstairs on a small tray, perfect for breakfast in bed. He gently woke her and she stared up at him, grinning as she saw her hot breakfast in front of herand the food on the tray looked pretty appetizing too. She took a big sip of her orange juice and lay back against her pillows, pulling Spike down beside her. He nuzzled her neck and purred quietly.

"A girl could get used to this special treatment," she said, then changed her tone. "Wait a minute, what'd you do?"

"Nothing," he grinned. "Can't a vampire do something nice for his Slayer?" He placed light kisses along her neck, his lips tracing the outline of the scar from Angel's teeth. Buffy jerked away from him as he did so, struggling to change the subject.

Spike studied her expression. Confusion, fear and distrust marred her face for a split second before she slipped on her cool, calm façade.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asked, his voice heavy with worry and pain from being rejected.

She looked over at him and smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Nothing." she shrugged.

The room became quiet, the only sound being Dawn's music playing ever so softly down the hall. Buffy's eyes avoided his, so they scanned the room settling on the flashing clock. "We really should reset--"

"Why don't you love me?" Spike blurted out, interrupting her. He grinned nervously for a split second, feeling embarrassed and almost foolish, but then his face became resolved. He wasn't going to let her off easily; he was going to get a straight answer. "I mean, you never say it, and you ignore me when I do."

"Spike, that's crazy--"

"Is it? I mean, I say it all the time and when I do, you act as if I've committed a crime or something. You don't even like hearing it. Is it me? You don't want my love or something?" he climbed off the bed and paced in front of the closet as he spoke.

"No, Spike, it's nothing like that." she said, shaking her head slowly, studying a strand of her silky blonde hair in her fingers.

"Oh, so the nights after we make love and you pretend to be sleeping, just so you don't have to answer me are all 'nothing'? How about when we're watching a flick and I tell you I love you, you pretend not to hear me? You can ignore me all you like, but I can't ignore _it_. Every time I utter those words, your heart skips a beat and I _know _it's not from joy," he said calmly but the hurt was evident in his voice. "So tell me; I have a right to know."

Buffy sat in bed, stunned speechless by Spike's words. When she finally found her voice, it came out in a harsh whisper. "Spike, can we please not have this discussion right now? Maybe later--"

"No, Buffy, you'll avoid it then too," he said, his voice rising to an angry tone. She looked up at him like a lost child, scared and alone, but he didn't fall for it. "Dammit, Buffy, I want my answer now, and it better be a straight one."

Buffy set her jaw. If it was one thing she hated, it was people telling her what to do, especially when she didn't want to do them. "Spike, you're going to wake Dawn."

"You know as well as I do that Lil' Bit's already awake. Now answer me." he ordered.

Buffy crawled out of her bed and began to dress hurriedly. "And if I don't?" she challenged.

"You're not running away from this, luv, I won't let you. Now talk to me. Sooner or later we're going to have to."

"Fine, you wanna talk?" she snapped at him, her temper boiling over. "Let's talk. Let's talk about how I don't love you. How I don't, how I never have, and how I never will."

His heart filled with pain and the bright blue in his eyes seemed to fade away to gray. "You don't mean that."

"Don't I?" she laughed, mocking her lover. "What's the matter, honey? You wanted your straight answer, so here it is. Not quite what you wanted to hear, but hey, I can't smooth over all your doubts and insecurities with a kiss and three little words. It just won't happen."

Spike's voice wavered as he yelled, the pain and anger evident. "So what is this, huh? This thing we've had going on for months now?"

"Nothing, Spike. Not anymore. I mean, thanks, it was fun while it lasted, but our time is up. It's pretty clear what I have to give you just isn't enough so I'm not going to waste my energy on you."

"Yeah, well you seemed to enjoy wasting that energy on me last night, and the night before, and the morning bef--"

His words cut off as her hand connected loudly with his cheek, leaving a bright red mark behind, his borrowed blood rushing to his face. He kept his head turned after she slapped him, regretting his harsh words. Neither said anything for a moment and finally he turned to her, angry tears burning her eyes.

"Buffy, I'm sor--"

"Shut up, Spike." she stopped him. 

"Will you please listen to me?" he begged.

"I think you've done quite enough talking for both of us."

"Well if you weren't such a stubborn bint, we could have an actual conversation. Now get over yourself for one minute and talk to me"

"Get over myself? And here I thought you understood me!"

"Well, I did until you proved that you're nothing more than an empty shell." he said.

Buffy crossed her arms in front of her chest. "And just what is that supposed to mean?"

"You've neglected your slaying duties altogether, you won't even touch a stake, and you never go out with your friends unless I'm there to fool around with. I mean, you're not even Buffy anymore, you're just a cold-hearted bitch." he hissed, and as the very words left his lips, he regretted them, feeling a shadow of dread fill his body. Nothing could take back the harsh words now.

She padded down the stairs quickly, with Spike following not too far behind. "Buffy, don't leave when you know I can't follow you. Can't you stay and talk about this? I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. You know I love you more than life itself." He grabbed her arm gently as she opened the door to head out into the bright sun.

She stopped and turned around, fire blazing in her hazel eyes. She stared down at his hand dangerously. "Let me go or I'll cut it off." she said with murder in her voice and eyes.

"No. I'm not letting you throw this away. We could have something good, something real here."

Before he knew what happened, Buffy's fist connected with his jaw, sending him crashing backward onto the stairs. He scrambled to his feet but it was too late. She headed out the door and slammed it behind her with a loud bang. Dawn raced to the top of the stairs to find a stunned Spike staring at the door.

"Spike? What happened?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"My world just ended."

***

As the door to the magic shop banged open, the gang looked up from various books they were researching in. Buffy marched over and stood by the small table they were all sitting around, her eyes blazing.

"You'll all be happy to know that I just broke up with Spike."

A stunned silence fell over the group for a moment before it was shattered by Willow's chair scraping on the floor as she stood up. She walked over and laid a hand on Buffy's arm.

"What happened?" she asked gently.

"Nothing worth mentioning," Buffy replied as she pulled a chair and sat down, grabbing the first book she saw. "I don't want to talk about it, and I know you guys hated us together so I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention it either."

They all shot each other a look as Buffy buried herself in the book she was reading. It was true that they were relieved that Buffy had finally seen sense, but at the same time they were concerned about how much anger she seemed to be feeling. Hopefully once she calmed down a little, things would go back to normal.

Back at the Summers' house, Dawn cried as she realized it was really over between Spike and her sister. But not for long if she had anything to do with it. 

* * *

Dawn wept on her bed as she heard a light knock on her door. Wiping her tears and swallowing her sobs, her voice wavered as she allowed him to enter her room. Taking slow steps, he approached her bed, sitting at the end and staring into her tear-filled eyes through his own.

"It seems you might possibly handling this worse than me, Nibblet." he said in a weary voice.

She pulled her knees to her chin and wrapped her arms around them. "I guess this means you won't be coming around here anymore, huh?"

He looked down at his hands sitting listlessly in his lap. "No, I don't suppose so. Your sis isn't very fond of me right now, I'd imagine."

"What happened?" she asked. "You guys seemed so good together."

"Yeah, we did," he said, a small smile on his face despite the fact that his voice was still laced with disbelief over that morning's incident. "But things just fell apart. I've known for a while now that something was up. It just happened to surface today is all."

Dawn didn't say anything, just stared into his sad, red-rimmed eyes. "Do you think you'll still love her?"

As fresh tears collected in his eyes, he smiled at the hopeful brunette, curled into a little ball. "Always and forever."

She sat forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Stunned at first, he sighed and let himself hug her back. Buffy would surely see to it that Dawn stayed away from him and his crypt at all costs. He was going to miss her.

Dawn pulled away from him, sitting back on her heels, wiping her tears. "So, you're leaving at sundown then?"

He nodded. "I suppose Buffy'll want me out of here as soon as possible."

The 14-year-old smiled. "So, what do you wanna do 'til then?"

After the sun had set and Spike had left, Buffy trudged through the front door, finding playing cards splayed out on the table in the dining room, complete with poker chips and money, not to mention the numerous pretzels littering the table and carpet. It was like living with an animal. A short, annoying animal. A monkey, maybe.

"Dawn!" she called upstairs. "Get down here and clean up!"

She hung her jacket on the coat rack and Dawn appeared at the top of the stairs, arms folded across her chest and a serious scowl on her face.

"What's your problem?" Buffy asked coldly. "You're the one that made the mess."

Dawn said nothing but padded down the stairs, brushing past her sister to head to the kitchen.

"Okay, what's with the Holly Hunter act?"

Dawn sighed. "I just don't see why you broke up."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Look, it's none of your business. What's done is done and I'm not traveling down that road again."

Dawn returned from the kitchen with a large bowl. Pocketing the money on the table, she swiped the chips, cards, and pretzels into the bowl.

"So that's how you keep your room clean," Buffy smirked, rolling her eyes. "So, what do you wanna do tonight? Watch movies? Make brownies? Wax legs?"

Dawn wrinkled her nose at the last suggestion. "Ow much?"

"It was a joke, Dawnie," she said. Off of her sister's 'it wasn't that funny' look, she sighed. "Fine, then you suggest something."

"I wanna talk about you and Spike."

"There's nothing to talk about." Buffy said coldly, anger marring her face.

"Oh, yes there is. Like how can you date someone for three months and suddenly wake up hating them?"

"Oh, believe me, I hated him long before this morning." she said.

"He loves you so much, Buffy. He'd do absolutely anything for you, don't you see that?" she argued. "You should give him another chance."

"I think you should drop the subject."

"No. You're hurting one of my friends just because you've had a chip on her shoulder ever since you came back. Do you realize what a selfish bitch you are?"

"Go to your room." Buffy said, glaring at her little sister.

"If anything, you should be mad at me, not him. I'm the one that killed you in the first place."

With that, Dawn dropped the bowl and raced up the stairs to her room, slamming it shut behind her. Leaning against the door, a look of pure determination crossed her features. Sliding on her jacket, she grabbed a stake off her desk and climbed out the window. If she couldn't bring her sister back to Spike, she'd bring Spike back to her sister.

***

"What do you want, Nibblet?" Spike asked flatly, not even looking up as he heard the door to his crypt open. He knew it was her; it couldn't be anyone else. He raised the now almost empty bottle of whisky to his lips, only to have it snatched away.

"Hey!" he protested. "Can't a vamp get drunk in peace?"

He finally raised his head and saw Dawn glaring at him, the bottle in one hand and the other one resting on her hip.

"What are you doing?" she demanded, her foot tapping impatiently on the floor.

"Wassit look like?" he slurred, pulling another bottle out from underneath his chair and taking a healthy swig. "I'm drowning my sorrows."

"Well, stop it!" Dawn yelled, grabbing the bottle from him. "You're not going to get Buffy back if you can't even speak properly."

Spike laughed bitterly. "Speakin's what got me into this mess in the first place, pet."

He sighed and his voice began to crack. "You should've heard what I said to her, she has every right to hate me."

Dawn crouched down beside him and placed a hand on top of his. "I'm sure if you just go and apologize, she'll understand. I know she hasn't been herself since she came back, but if you tell her you love her I'm sure--"

"It won't do any good," Spike sighed. "I should've seen it coming, really, I knew something was wrong but I just didn't wanna see it."

Dawn straightened, her look of annoyance back in place. "Well, you're not gonna get anywhere if you just sit around brooding like this. We'll start calling you 'Angel' if you keep it up. Now, are you going to go and see Buffy, or am I going to have to drag you there? You know you can't stop me without your chip going off."

Spike stood up shakily and clenched his jaw. "No, but I'll give you a damn good fight, Nibblet. Now sod off and run home before some big nasty decides to eat you for its supper."

Dawn looked at him for a moment, not sure if he was serious or not. His face didn't change and it became apparent that he was deadly serious. Her lip began to tremble and she turned and ran from the crypt without another word.

As the door banged shut, Spike sat back down and continued to drink.

* * *

Tears blinded Dawn's eyes as she ran. She couldn't believe it was over, and that both of them were too stubborn to even try to make it better. It was just like everything else she loved; it had come to an end. As she made her way through the gravestones, she didn't see the figure following her, or hear the soft growl as she slowed down and began to walk. 

Somehow she couldn't bring herself to go home. Home meant being with Buffy and being constantly reminded that she would hardly ever see Spike again. A loud grunt caused her to look up and she found herself staring into the red eyes of a demon. A small cry left her lips and she backed away, only to find herself pressed against the wall of a mausoleum with the demon still in front of her. She was trapped.

* * *

His words echoed throughout the crypt. Or maybe it was just in his head. He wasn't sure which.

_before some big nasty decides to eat you for its supper_

Bloody hell. Now he'd probably scared the half-pint to death. Or worse: to her death. He set the bottle down on the table beside him and stood up groggily, the room spinning. Shaking his head to clear it, he slid on his duster. Just because Buffy was back, it didn't mean he was going to break his promise to protect her little sister. 'Til the end of the world' he'd said, and he bloody well meant it.

As soon as he stepped into the cool night air, he could tell something was wrong. He could smell the fear in the air as if it were a thick blanket covering the cemetery. Immediately he knew it was Dawn, recognizing her scent of fear from the fateful night that took her sister's life. Adrenaline coursed through his body, equalizing the alcohol and sobering him up somewhat. In an instant he broke into a run, following the faint sobs for help.

Spike rounded the corner of a mausoleum and came across a huge demon, cornering Dawn against the wall, its flesh a sickly yellow hue that accentuated its purple veins, its eyes a feral red color. It had long incisors, surrounded by shorter sharp yellow teeth, gleaming with saliva. But the fangs weren't the worst part. The demon had thick spikes sticking out of its back and a few on its armsspikes that were dangerously close to harming the young brunette.

"What's all this now?" Spike asked loudly, capturing both Dawn's and the demon's attention. "A bit of a party, eh?"

He walked towards the demon, stumbling against the wall of the crypt in pretend drunkenness. "This one's cute, mate. Can I have her? She'd make a lovely childe."

Dawn looked at Spike in disbelief. He'd followed her here drunk? What was his big plan? To pass out at the demon's feet? _My hero._ Dawn thought, rolling her eyes.

As Spike kept chattering at the demon, Dawn slowly and silently slid along the wall, hoping to get far enough out of the demon's peripheral vision so she could escape.

Catching her movements, the demon snarled at her. "Stay!" it bellowed, saliva dripping from its teeth.

No sooner had it turned its attention to her, than Spike hurled himself at the demon, tackling it to the ground. He stood up quickly, bounding with energy and adrenaline. "C'mon, pincushion, let's see who's the better demon."

The creature climbed to its feet, growling menacingly, using its hands to shade its eyes. "What magic is this? Your head blinds me."

"Oh, making fun of my hair now, huh?" Spike lunged forward and delivered a kick to the demon's side, effectively causing it to double over. "It's called bleach, buddy, you should use it on your teeth."

As the demon was bent over, Spike grabbed its head and brought his knee into its face hard, sending it stumbling back.

Shaking its head, the demon recovered and charged at Spike, punching him in the face and scratching his chest with its sharp claws, forming several parallel deep gashes into his chest, drawing a generous amount of dark red blood. Dawn clamped her hand over her mouth to stop herself from screaming, not wanting to draw the demon's attention toward herself.

Spike recovered from the blow and glanced down at his torn shirt and bloody chest, hiding the immense pain from his voice. "Oh, you're gonna pay for that." he snarled.

He swung his left fist at the demon's jaw, hoping to stun it so he could get a good kick in, when the demon caught his fist in its right hand, squeezing hard. Spike screamed in pain as he felt his fingers popping from their sockets and blood running down his wrist.

"Let go of him!" Dawn screamed, not caring whether the demon killed her or not. She couldn't stand to see Spike's face contorted in pain.

The demon brought his knee up to Spike's stomach, causing him to double over, still gripping his fist. Delivering an uppercut to Spike's jaw, it nearly knocked him flat onto his back.

Finally, when the demon had grown bored of beating the vampire, it placed its free hand on the top of Spike's head. Holding his bloody fist with one hand, and his head in the other, the demon lowered its fangs down to his neck, its incisors sliding through his skin like a hot knife through butter. Spike hit and kicked the demon but to no avail, he was too weak and couldn't offer any resistance. And as quickly as the demon had bit him, it dropped him on the ground, lumbering off in the opposite direction without a second glance to the bleeding vampire or Dawn.

"Oh my god, Spike. Are you alright?" Dawn sobbed, rushing over to him, kneeling down beside him as he tried to sit up. Unable to gain leverage because of his damaged hand, Dawn supported his back. She could see bruise upon bruise marring his face, his lips split and bleeding and one eye swollen shut. He looked down at his chest and hand and frowned.

"Something's wrong. It hurts." he said.

"Well, yeah, he crushed it pretty good." Dawn said, looking at his hand closely. It was covered in blood and she could see bits of white bone showing through the skin. The sight of it made her want to heave. Thank god for vampiric healing powers. If they wrapped it up, it would heal in a few days.

"No, my body. I feel heavy and in immense pain." he gasped.

"You lost a _lot _of blood Spike, but you have to stand up; I'm taking you home." she replied, tears brimming her eyes.

"To the crypt. It's closer."

He swayed slightly as he slipped in and out of consciousness, causing Dawn to slap him hard. "Don't you fall asleep, dammit!" she yelled. She had to keep him awake. Once he fell asleep, there was a chance he might not be able to wake up again.

He jolted awake and looked at her, his eyes unable to focus on her clearly. "Right. Help me up."

As the tears streamed freely down her face, she wrapped her arms around his chest; effectively smearing blood from his chest wound on her shirt, and helped him stand. Spike hissed in pain as the pins and needles stung his feet, but it was nothing compared to the excruciating pain coursing through his body. It was as if razor blades were being dragged from his head straight to his toes.

Dawn slipped his right arm around her neck and helped him walk, his feet aching with each step. Slowly and painfully, they made it back to his crypt, although Spike was losing his energy fast. One by one, his muscles were becoming unresponsive to his brain's commands, leaving Dawn to practically drag him home. He'd lost so much blood in so short a time, she wasn't sure if he'd survive the night.

***

"Come on, Spike. We're nearly there." Dawn urged as Spike stumbled, placing more of his weight upon her. She wasn't even sure if he could hear her anymore, and her words were to reassure herself as much as they were for him. Spike let out a small moan as Dawn continued to half drag him along. She hoped it wasn't much further to his crypt. He was getting heavier as his strength left him and she wasn't sure if she could carry him for much longer. Her arms were already starting to ache.

A few more minutes passed and Spike's crypt loomed into view, almost causing Dawn to cry with relief. She sped up as much as she could with Spike's weight holding her down and soon they were at the door. She propped him against the wall as she opened the heavy door before wrapping her arms back around him.

"Come on," she whispered gently to him. "Let's get you inside."

They were barely three feet into the crypt when Spike slumped to the floor, pulling Dawn down with him. She lay underneath him for a moment, the wind knocked out of her before she crawled out from beneath his limp body.

She shook his shoulder gently. "Spike?"

Nothing.

She tried again, this time shaking him harder. "Spike, wake up."

Still nothing.

"Come on, Spike, please," she sobbed. "You have to get up."

It was no good; he was well and truly unconscious.

Immediately Dawn knew she had to get help, and there was only one person she could think of to go to.

"She can't refuse to help him." she muttered to herself, running over to the coffin, grabbing a pillow and returning to the vampire, tucking it beneath his head.

Grabbing a blanket, she wrapped it tightly around the unconscious vampire before pressing a kiss on his forehead. "Don't worry, Spike. I'm going to get help."

When she got no response, she turned and ran as fast as she could towards town. She had to find Buffy before it was too late.

***

She shoved the door of the Magic Box open, nearly knocking the little bell off its hook above the door. Everybody's heads snapped up from their books to see Hurricane Dawn race into the shop, panting for breath.

"Dawn! What happened?" Buffy asked worriedly.

"It's Spike," she sobbed, her breath coming in short gasps. "He's been hurt. There was a big demon and it clawed and bit him and then he passed out in his crypt. Buffy, we have to help him!"

Buffy looked at her sister, hands on her hips and an annoyed expression on her face. "Dawn, look, if this is one of your stupid plans to get Spike and I back together, it's not going to work. It's over and you'll--"

"God, Buffy, shut up!" Dawn yelled. "For once this _isn't_ about you. Spike's lying in his crypt unconscious. He could hardly movehe's lost so much blood. He couldn't even walk."

Buffy remained unmoved by Dawn's frantic performance. Did her younger sister really think she would fall for it? This was all just a ruse they'd planned to get them back together. Well it wasn't going to be that easy. Buffy let out an annoyed sigh and opened her mouth to say something, but Dawn interrupted her.

"Look, if you don't believe me, where do you think all this blood came from?" she said, removing her jacket and gesturing to her shirt. Her once white tank top was stained a dark red, the only evidence of it ever being white were the straps and the back, having been untouched by the vampire's blood.

Buffy's eyes widened and she fussed over Dawn, checking for cuts and bruises. "Dawnie, are you alright?"

Shoving Buffy away, she let out an aggravated growl, tears brimming her eyes. "It's _not_ mine, it's _Spike's_ and I'm going back to help him whether you come with me or not.

Buffy's tough resolve faltered for a minute as she looked at the blood covering her sister. She sighed and turned back to the group, disguising the worry in her eyes and voice. "Okay, I'm going to check it out. Giles?"

Giles removed his glasses, and smiled lightly in understanding. "I'll grab some medical supplies and be on my way shortly."

"Thanks." she said, smiling back.

The bell rang as Dawn opened the door, taking off into a dead run with Buffy following close behind. She hoped against hope that there was still time to save him.

***

Dawn ran full speed back to Spike's crypt, with Buffy struggling to catch up. She couldn't believe she was going to help Spike after all he'd said to her. Still, she knew Dawn would never forgive her if she didn't at least try and do something for Spike. The last thing she needed was her sister being even angrier with her than she already was.

She didn't see what all the fuss was about anyway, so what if Spike was hurt. He was a vampire; he'd heal soon enough. _Besides_, she thought to herself. _I'm a cold-hearted bitch. Why should I care?_

They were at the door before she could take her thoughts any further. Dawn glanced over her shoulder to make sure Buffy was following before dashing inside. By the time she'd made it to the door, Dawn was already busying herself making up a bed for Spike on his bier.

Looking down, Buffy saw Spike lying on the floor just as Dawn had said, a blanket wrapped over him and a pillow beneath his head. She was immediately startled by the bruises covering his face and with a pang it reminded her scarily of how he'd looked after Glory had tortured him. Looking up, she saw Dawn watching her and wiped any trace of concern from her face, it wouldn't do to raise her sister's hopes.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Dawn asked shakily.

"I don't know. He's hurt pretty bad. Still, I think a bit of blood and some rest will be all he needs."

She pulled the blanket back to check for further damage and couldn't help but gasp at what she saw. There was blood everywhere, still flowing freely from the wounds on his chest and the one on his neck. She didn't understand why there was so much blood; his vampire healing should have closed the wounds almost immediately. Her eyes drifted down to his shattered hand and she grimaced, he'd certainly taken a good beating.

"I've made Spike's bed up." Dawn said softly.

Buffy nodded and carefully picked him up. He struggled weakly in her arms but the effort seemed to drain him considerably and he soon stilled. She gently placed him on the bier and Dawn pulled the quilt up over him.

"We can't do anymore until Giles gets here."

As if on cue, the door to the crypt opened and Giles stepped in. 

"How is he?" he asked as he handed Buffy the medical supplies and a container of blood.

"I think he'll be okay once we've got him cleaned up and fed."

"BUFFY!" 

Her head snapped round at her sister's scream and her eyes fell on Spike, who her sister was trying to help. He was now moaning loudly and shuddering deeply beneath the quilt.

"Something's really wrong with him." Dawn sobbed as she tried to calm Spike but nothing seemed to be working.

Giles marched over and moved Dawn aside so that he could examine Spike. He placed his hand on the vampire's forehead and then examined the wound on his neck.

"Dawn," he said carefully. "Can you describe the demon that attacked Spike?"

She nodded, her lip trembling. "Umit was kind of a yellowy colour, with purple veins and it had all these spikey things on it."

He nodded.

"Giles?" Buffy pressed, sensing that he knew more than he was saying.

"I'm familiar with the creature, an En'och demon. Its bite contains one of the most lethal venoms ever recorded."

"But it can't be affecting Spike, I mean he's a vampire."

"Precisely. This particular demon feeds off humans, and for that reason the venom is relatively harmless. It's part of the demons defense system; it only harms creatures that could endanger it, such as other demons. Because Spike has demon blood inside him I'm afraid the poison has affected him as it would any other demon."

"How bad is it?"

"Very. The poison will continue to attack him until there's no more damage to do."

Dawn began to cry again and Buffy's breath caught in her throat. "It'll kill him?"

Giles nodded.

"How long?"

He paused for a moment and sighed. "A day at most."

* * *

As the sun peeked over the horizon, lighting up Sunnydale, Buffy sat alone in the crypt, keeping the unconscious vampire company while the others hunted for the demon at Dawn's request. They wanted to be sure that Dawn's description of it had been accurate and that they weren't dealing with a possibly more dangerous demon.

She picked up the medical kit and took out scissors, a cloth, a jar of water, and some gauze. After cutting Spike's trademark black shirt off of his body, she began to wipe the blood from around the gashes on his chest, wincing every time she felt his nerves jump. She sighed. This was ridiculous. He was a vampire; he could handle a bit of pain. But still not wanting to hurt him to badly, she worked quickly, using the wet cloth to clean the caked-on blood.

After she finished, she tried to convince herself that the cuts weren't all that bad and had just been exaggerated by the amount of blood covering his chest. _Okay_, she admitted to herself. _They're awful and icky and painful looking. But at least they've stopped bleeding_. Finding it difficult to wrap the gauze around his chest while he was lying down, she climbed onto the coffin behind him, sitting him up so he lay propped against her, his back to her chest, her legs on either side of the bier, letting his head rest on her shoulder. His body was hot with a fever and he shivered slightly. Buffy recalled a time when she'd given her blood to save a dying Angel, but this time she wasn't sure she could do it, even if her blood was the cure this time, and especially not for Spike. For some reason she didn't trust him to stop like Angel had.

She wrapped the gauze around him easily, pausing to look down at his face. Swollen, bruised, and cut, she could've sworn he'd opened his eyes for a second. Shrugging slightly, she lifted his arm to inspect his hand. It looked like it had been caught in a machine and she had no idea how she was going to set it. Instead of wiping the blood away, she lightly poured the water onto his hand over the side of the bier, managing to get most of the blood off.

Taking a deep breath and a loud gulp, she began straightening out his fingers, popping his fingers back into the sockets, cringing with each crack. Surprised that he hadn't woken with the pain, she quickly wrapped his hand, letting out a sigh of relief as she taped the last of the gauze and noticing that tears had somehow worked their way down her cheeks.

Quickly brushing them away with the back of her hand, she grabbed the medical kit from beside Spike and pulled out the jar of pig's blood. She unscrewed the lid and held it in front of Spike's face.

"Yummy," she said, in a sarcastic voice. "Plasma-flavoured Boost for the vamp on the go."

"Buff--" she heard him gasp, his voice scratchy and dry.

"Shhh, drink this." she said, tipping the jar to his lips.

He accepted the blood slowly, having a difficult time swallowing. It hit his empty stomach like a ton of bricks and it was the first time in all of his vampire years that he felt like he would be sick from it. Struggling to keep his meal down, he turned away from the jar, unable to drink anymore.

Looking up at Buffy, cradling his body he smiled. "You really hurt my hand," he grinned slightly, gritting his teeth to fight the pain coursing through his body. "It took all my strength not to rip your head off. Fortunately for you I can't move." His tone became serious. "It hurts, Buffy, my legs, my armsam I dying?"

Buffy looked away, not yet able to face him. "The gang is out trying to find the demon that did this. They think it poisoned you."

Spike sat silent for a moment, inhaling her scent and enjoying the feel of her arms around him, offering him some comfort from the immense pain he was feeling. The day without her had been too long and he missed her terribly. "Why aren't you out there?"

"Someone needed to stay behind to take care of you, and Dawn has school tomorrow so she's staying with Taraand besides, you know how I feel about slaying."

"No, I don't," he mumbled. "You never told me."

Buffy looked down at the ground beside her, wondering why she never did._ Because he wouldn't understand, just like the others_. The voice in her head told her. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. Why was it so hard to tell him? To tell her friends and family? She recalled a time when she could tell them anything, but what had happened? _Right_, she said to herself. _I died_. Sure it wasn't their fault, but as soon as she'd returned, they came running to her with every demon they discovered or found a nearby vamp nest, and dumped it on her shoulders. If she came across as stubborn and bitter, she didn't want to be, and definitely didn't mean to be cold-hearted. She just wished they'd back off with the pressure.

She felt her tough resolve crumble and sighed. "I just don't see it as my responsibility to decide who should die and who shouldn't. I mean, not all demons are bad, right? You're not bad; you're reformed. Who's to say they haven't done the same?" she explained.

"I never thanked you for taking care of Dawn. I know you guys are closer now and I'm glad she's got you as a friend. And I don't mind if you come by to see her, just don't expect me to sit down with you guys and be all buddy-buddy. And I don't want her coming here at night alone, I mean, look what happened. She could get killed," Buffy closed her eyes and sighed. "I don't hate you, Spike, and I'm sorry I said that. I was just angry, you know? I don't want to be a bitch, and I don't mean to beI just need time to be me again. I don't know what I'm going to do now that I'm back. It's scary to have your world turned upside down like that." She looked down at him and smiled to herself, realizing that he was sleeping, probably having heard none of her confession.

Pressing a kiss to his forehead, the door to the crypt opened and in walked Giles. She quickly straightened up and pretended to be inspecting his wrapped hand. "Do you think this looks okay, Giles? I'm more of an expert at breaking things, not usually fixing them. I think the fingers were just dislocated, not really broken though."

Giles smiled lightly at her comment and examined Spike's hand, feeling for breaks in the bone through the gauze, and half expecting Spike to jump a foot in the air from pain. "Seems fine to me. Any slight fractures should heal up in the next couple days."

Buffy fought the thoughts that pushed their way to the front of her mind, forcing her to wonder if he'd make it through the next night. She shook her head and returned her attention to the conversation outside her head. "Good, 'cause I don't wanna have to redo it right now," she said, making a face. "So did you find it?"

He removed his glasses and wiped the lenses with a handkerchief. "Well, uh, we caught a glimpse near an old warehouse by the dump. It is in fact an En'och demon, so we'll need to research to try and find a cure, if any exist. If we want to save Spike, we'll need your help. How is he?" he asked, looking at their current position.

Buffy shrugged with disinterest, her hard defense building up once more. She slipped out from behind him, laying him gently back onto the bier, covering him with his blankets. "Well, he woke up, ate something, and fell back asleep. I had to wrap his chest wounds and this was the easiest way to do it. He said he couldn't move though, and that he was in pain. He's got a fever and chills at the same time, I think, and, man, is he heavy as hell."

"Right, well, everyone is at the shop researching, we should get back." Giles said, gathering up the medical supplies.

"Should someone stay with him? In case he wakes up? I mean, he can't move and that's gotta be hell for him. What if he gets hungry?" she said, turning to look at Spike.

"He'll be fine. Now that he has fed, his body will want to try to fight against the poison. We must hurry if you want to save him."

Her head whipped around to face her Watcher. "I could care less if he died, Giles; it's Dawn I'm doing this for."

Giles looked at Buffy with confusion on his face. Did she not feel for him in the least? Surely their three months spent together had meant something to her. But then again maybe not, she always seemed quicker to defend herself when he was around. Giles shook it off. Certainly the vampire hadn't changed her attitude toward life. Had he?

***

Buffy and Giles entered the shop, greeted with tired smiles and a few yawns. Buffy felt the same way. She hadn't slept in almost 24 hourssince she and Spike broke up. _Lack of sleep has nothing to do with him_. she reminded herself angrily.

Shaking her head, she told her inner self to shut up and walked down the steps to where the gang sat at the table. "So, what's the what? Any cure?"

Willow looked up at her with dark circles under her eyes. "Not yet, but we'll keep looking. I think we're getting closer."

"Yeah, 11 books down, a billion to go." Xander said with a yawn.

Buffy plopped down on a chair and picked up a book. "Don't you have a big reference index book where you can look up demons and it'll say 'Big Dusty Tome #184'?" she pouted.

"I wish it were that simple, Buffy. Unfortunately, En'och demons aren't an abundant species so there isn't much written about them. And there's nothing in the Watcher's diaries of one ever poisoning a Slayer, so not much information in those."

"It's okay, we'll find it," she said, then turned to Willow, who looked about ready to drop face-first on the book she was reading. "So is Tara taking Dawn to school?"

"Yeah, she's got a morning class," Willow replied. "But she'll come over right after to help."

"So, Giles, what do you think the cure would be?" she asked.

"I haven't the slightest idea. Possibly blood of some type, or-or a spell. It really could be a number of things."

Willow put her hand on top of Buffy's, resting on the table. "Don't worry, we'll find a cure."

"Who said I was worried?" she asked with a scoff.

The gang eyed each other as Buffy's attention returned to the book she was reading. Something was up with the Slayer. And whatever it was seemed to surface with the mention of Spike.

As noon came and went, Tara and Dawn arrived at the shop, Dawn reminding Buffy that it was an early-dismissal day.

The gang still hadn't located a cure, but they kept reading and researching between short naps, trying their best to focus all their energy on finding the cure.

Buffy watched Dawn search through books as she watched the clock avidly, fearing that time would run out before they could find a cure for him. As their eyes locked from across the table, Buffy could feel Dawn's emotions emanating from her small form. Finally Buffy stood up, slamming her hands down on the table, startling the entire group and waking up Anya, using Xander's sweater as a pillow on the table.

"I can't sit here for much longer, we need to find the cure so Spike can get on with his stupid unlife and stop messing up mine."

She began walking around the room, examining objects on display as the gang watched on, their eyes darting back and forth between them, a silent agreement forming.

Slowly Xander stood. "Hey, Buffy, relax, we'll find one and Spike can go back to being his annoying self in no time."

Buffy stopped pacing and stood in front of her friend. "Yeah, that'll be just as fun."

"You know, maybe we shouldn't bother," he ventured. "I mean, it's not like any of us will miss him. He'll stop stealing our money and getting in the way on patrol. And besides, you seem to get angry whenever we mention his name. In fact, you have been for a few days now."

"No. He's just annoying, even when he's not here," she threw up her hands in defeat. "I can't get away from him for one minute, it's like he's everywhere all the time! And I can't stand his stupid hair, or his stupid smirk, or his stupid leather jacket, or--"

"See? Those are the words of an angry Slayer." he said, interrupting her rant.

Suddenly, Buffy's fist shot out and she hit Xander's chin. He stumbled backwards and right into one of the chairs surrounding the table.

"I am _not_ angry." Buffy glanced over at Dawn, her expression tearful and sad. Turning back to the group, she set her jaw. "We're going to save him, and if you won't help me, then I'll have to figure it out myself. Either way, he's going to be cured."

Dawn jumped up from her chair and sped across the room, wrapping her arms tightly around her sister's waist as she hugged her, thanking her for vowing to save her friend.

Wrapping her arms around her younger sister's shoulders, Buffy just hoped she wouldn't let her sister down.

***

Hours passed and still they had had no luck. The whole gang, a reluctant Xander included, had spent the whole day in the magic shop reading book after book in a desperate attempt to find a cure for Spike. Every now and then, Buffy would glance over at her sister, seeing her growing more and more frantic as time passed. This made Buffy even more determined to help him; she couldn't let Dawn down. Every hour or so one of the gang would go and check on Spike, returning with the news that he was still unconscious and the fever was slowly worsening.

If there was one thing Buffy hated, it was feeling useless and no matter how many books she read, she found herself growing restless. If they could just find the cure maybe she could do something other than sit around.

Dusk was settling on Sunnydale when Giles' head suddenly shot up from the book he was reading.

"I think I've got it."

Buffy almost jumped out of her seat. "You found the cure? What is it?"

Giles read the book for a few seconds longer. "Some basic ingredients, which I have here in the shop and the blood of the demon. I need to mix it together to make a potion and that should do it."

The rest of the gang looked at each other uncomfortably. If the demon had managed to best Spike, they were pretty sure they'd meet a similar fate; he was the strongest fighter among them apart from

"Buffy, what are you doing?" Willow asked as she saw her friend at the door putting her jacket on.

"What I should have done in the first place. I'm going to find this demon and I'm going to kill it."

There was a fiercely determined look in her eyes that none of them had seen since she'd come back. It was like she had been before.

"I want you guys to get everything else ready and meet me at Spike's crypt. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Before any of them could respond she was out of the door, letting it bang behind her and leaving the shop in a stunned silence. None of them were sure what the trigger had been, but one thing was certain.

The Slayer was back

* * *

She ran through the streets, the description of the En'och demon Giles and Dawn had given her embedded in her mind. She had to find it, and fast. Time was running short. Glancing at her watch, she realized she only had a couple hours at most.

As if a fog lifted from her mind, she remembered Giles mentioning something about seeing it near the city dump. She took off in a full-on sprint and sped towards that part of town.

Rounding a corner of an old factory, she bumped into a tall, tough-looking figure, knocking her backwards onto the hard ground. Her head slammed against the pavement, making her gasp in pain, and her vision blur. She looked up at the obstruction groggily, recognition instantly sobering her vision. It was the En'och demon.

Jumping to her feet she smirked. "You're even uglier than I pictured." she scoffed. Her voiced wavered in fear and she swallowed nervously. She hadn't been patrolling since her return and certainly hadn't trained with Giles. The only hope she had for her muscles was the routine exercises she did every so often, just to keep in shape. _And then there's the 'exercise' I got in the bedroom with Spike_. she thought with a sly smile. Instantly, her thoughts jumped to his current state. There wasn't much time left and she had to get the blood.

"Slayer!" it snarled.

"Oh, good, for a minute there I thought it would be a one-sided conversation." she said, rolling her eyes. "Look, can we just get this over with?"

The demon eyed her, seeing her hesitation as she stepped into her fighting stance. "This night will be your last!" it roared.

"Like I haven't heard that before. And sorry to burst your bubble, but I have this odd habit of not staying dead. Call it a curse." she shrugged her shoulders. The demon did nothing but stare at her dumbly, reminding her vaguely of a certain jungle-bound ex-boyfriend.

"Hello! Me Slayer, you ugly demon, we're supposed to fight now and I don't have much time." She tapped her watch for an added effect.

Its mouth pulled back into an evil grin, showing off its fangs. It lumbered toward her, swiping at her with its claws. It was all she could do to dodge it, her once cat-like reflexes now snail-like.

As she tumbled to the ground, she had to roll out from under the demon's descending foot. Quickly scrambling to her feet, she spun around, delivering a roundhouse kick to the demon's head.

But before her foot touched its skull, it managed to catch her foot and twist it sharply, knocking her off balance and sending her to the ground face first. Gasping for air, she stood once more, her right ankle hurting from the demon's painful attack. As her face met with the demon's angry, and very large, fist, her lip split, blood pouring down her chin. Stars danced before her eyes as she recoiled, and before she could regain her balance, another fist painfully crashed into her face. Being sent stumbling backward from the blows, she steadied herself against the wall of the factory before charging again at the demon. She wasn't about to let her sister down.

Laughing evilly, the demon grabbed a hold of Buffy's neck with one hand, lifting her up off the ground. Her hands tore at his flesh as she choked, her legs flailing wildly, trying to regain her footing but found nothing to rest on.

Suddenly and completely by fluke, Buffy's foot smashed into the demon's face, causing it to drop her to the ground as it growled in pain. A surge of energy traveled through Buffy as she scrambled to her feet, realizing it was now or never.

She was so going to kick its ass.

As the demon rushed at her again, she knelt down and swept her left leg across the demon's path, effectively bringing it to the ground. Grabbing the demon's arms, careful to avoid its sharp spikes, she threw it against the wall, managing to break a few of the skewers on its back. It twisted in pain, letting out a sharp roar.

She hurried up to the demon, delivering a swift uppercut to its jaw. Its head knocked against the brick wall, causing it to daze out for a split second, giving Buffy all the time she needed to forcefully kick it in the stomach, causing it to double over. Clasping her hands together, she brought her combined fist down hard on the back of the demon's neck, sending it to the ground.

She kicked the demon repeatedly as it lay on the ground, unable to regain balance or even move for that matter. As she kicked it in the back she heard a loud crack and briefly wondered if she'd broken its back. "Nowyou knowhow Spikefeels." she yelled with each kick to the demon's head.

When she was sure it was dead, she collapsed to the ground beside it, tears streaming down her face at what she'd done. Not because she was upset at killing a living thing, but because she'd finally overcome her fear of slaying. She wasn't just a killer. She was a Slayer. A protector. It was her sacred duty to protect the people of the world, and sitting back to let her friends fight vampires wasn't part of the deal. She had to do this. She needed to. After months of skirting around the subject, tonight she was forced to face it, as well as all of her fears. All except for one.

She loved Spike.

She realized it now. She'd gone out and hunted the demon for him, not just for Dawn. Shouldn't she be embarrassed of her feelings? For loving a vampire? Especially a soulless one? She sat on the ground, staring at the dead demon's body. No, she shouldn't be embarrassed. Spike may be soulless, but he definitely wasn't a regular vampire. He loved her utterly and completely and she knew it, she just didn't want to face it. He'd remained devoted to her, even while she was dead, protecting her younger sister and keeping her company, though sometimes against Dawn's request. How could it be wrong to love Spike?

Especially when it felt so right?

Silently she cursed herself. Why had it taken so long to see it? And why now, when Spike was about to die? She pushed that thought from her mind as she wiped her tears, pulling a small bottle of Holy Water out of her jacket pocket. Spike was not going to die. Emptying the vial onto the ground, she broke off one of the demon's spikes, and used it to make a deep cut on its arm. As the dark purple liquid oozed out of the gash, she collected it in the bottle, hoping it would be enough for Giles' concoction.

Placing the cork back in the bottle, now filled with the slimy purple blood, she stood, raced to Spike's crypt at full speed, barely registering the sharp pain shooting through her ankle.

***

Slamming the door to the crypt open, everyone gasped as the saw the bruised and bloody face of the Slayer, her eyes shining with determination and a hint of fear. Gasping for breath, she handed the vial of blood to Giles.

"I hope that's enough." she panted.

He looked at the container for a few seconds and nodded. "It should be. Just give us a few minutes to finish the potion."

"I don't know if we have a few minutes."

Dawn's voice cut through everything else, choked with emotion and barely able to hold back the tears. "I don't think he has much time left."

Buffy turned to see her sister standing at Spike's bedside, gently stroking his fevered brow with a damp cloth. One look at the vampire told her that Dawn was right; he didn't have much time left. His skin had taken a gray complexion and his cheeks were unhealthily flushed and sunken in. His eyes also seemed to have sunk in, and for the first time since she'd met him, he looked like little more than the corpse he was.

Seeing him like this, it was all Buffy could do not to break down in tears. Had the realization of her love for Spike come too late?

Giles handed her a small container filled with a deep purple-coloured liquid. "We need to get him to drink this."

Buffy nodded and walked over to the bier. Dawn stepped back, allowing her room to work. As she had done before, she propped Spike into a sitting position and let his head rest on her shoulder. She held the potion to his lips.

Nothing.

She tipped the jar a little, trying to coax his lips open.

Still nothing.

"Dammit, Spike!" she yelled in frustration. "Drink!"

She watched with bated breath and then sighed with relief as his lips parted ever so slightly, enough for her to be able to pour the mixture into his mouth. For a moment she thought he was going to spit it out again, but somehow he found the strength to swallow.

Almost as soon as he did so, his body began to twitch, gently at first and then more violently until he was thrashing around in her arms. She held him tightly, using all her strength to hold him down.

"What's happening?" Dawn asked the room in general, the fear in her voice evident.

Giles looked just as bemused as everyone else.

Almost as suddenly as the convulsions had started, they stopped, leaving Spike limp in Buffy's arms. She reached out and placed a hand on his cheek, relieved to feel that his skin was growing cold once more. Other than that, there seemed to be no sign of activity coming from the vampire.

"Spike?" she whispered, whilst gently brushing her hand over his slack features.

"Spike?" she called a little more loudly, shaking him gently. 

She'd never seen him this still, even when he was asleep there was usually a hum of energy coming from him to indicate that there was life within him. Now she felt nothing.

"Oh, God, no." she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. She had been too late; Spike was gone. 

Dawn began to weep softly and the sound broke the final strain on Buffy's composure. Burying her face in the crook of Spike's neck she began to sob.

"I'm sorry," she choked out through the tears. "I should have been quicker."

Raising her head for a moment, she leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Spike's now cool lips. Their last kiss. One he would never feel.

"I love you." she whispered gently.

She would never be sure exactly what happened next, but the next thing she knew, Spike's lips were upon hers and he was returning the kiss she had so lovingly bestowed upon him. By the time her brain registered what was happing, he had pulled away and was looking up at her, tired and weak but still very much part of the undead.

"Spike?" she gasped, staring at him as though she was having some sort of vision.

He merely smiled and she threw her arms around him, holding him tight. "I thought I'd lost you."

As she pulled back, she saw a seriousness in his eyes that he rarely showed. "What is it?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered, barely able to find the strength to speak but determined to say it nonetheless. "I shouldn't have said--"

Buffy placed a finger on his lips, silencing him. "No, don't be sorry. You were right, just like you always are. I have been withdrawn since I came back and I just didn't want to face up to the way I've been treating you guys. But you made me see that I can't change who I am, what I am. I'm here to protect the people that I love. And I love you, all of you."

The rest of the gang smiled, but none as much as Spike. He looked as though his undead heart was about to burst.

He grinned at her. "When you say you love us all"

Buffy smiled, leaned down, and kissed him. "I love you too, Spike."

Once they parted, she turned to the rest of the gang. "Giles, could you drive us back to my house?"

He nodded and went to get the car started. The others filed out, seeing that Buffy clearly wanted to be alone with Spike, and knowing now that Buffy was fully back with them. Only Dawn remained, and as Buffy began to lift Spike up as gently as she could, she hurried over to her sister.

"Can I help?"

Buffy looked like she was about to argue but Spike nodded, seeing she wanted to make herself useful.

"Sure thing, Nibblet. Grab yourself a body part. But be careful which one you grab; there are some parts only your sister can touch."

Dawn made a face and then giggled, satisfied at last that Spike was really alright. He must be if he was making jokes with her.

She settled for grabbing hold of his legs while Buffy lifted him under his arms.

"Let's go home." Buffy announced as they began to carry him out of the crypt.

Spike couldn't have been happier. He had a home at last, and he was going there with his new family.

* * *

Buffy walked through the front door after a long night of slaying. At once she noticed how dark the house was and she knew she'd left at least one lamp on before she left for patrol.

"Hello?" she called. Dawn was spending the night at a friend's and as far as she knew, Spike was still patrolling a couple of the other cemeteries. It was the third evening after curing Spike of the En'och demon's poisonous bite. He'd taken a couple days to get his full strength back and Buffy spent nearly every moment with him.

"Is anything here?" she called out again.

Hearing a noise upstairs, she quickly and quietly ascended them, hoping that the element of surprise would be on her side. _Not likely after you yelled your head off_. she thought to herself.

As she reached the top of the stairs, she heard movement in her bedroom. Peering through the crack of the door, she could make out a figure standing at her dresser.

Before she had time to blink, she slammed the door open, running at the figure and tackling it to the ground.

Pulling a stake from her pocket, she held it above its chest. "What the hell are you doing in my house?" she asked menacingly.

"Last time I checked, I lived here." came the reply in a familiar British accent.

"Oh, god, I'm sorry, honey," she apologized and stood up quickly, pulling Spike to his feet and flicking on the lamp on her desk. "I thought you were out patrolling still."

"I didn't come across any nasties, so I had time. But I can see that you got into a bit of a scuffle." he said, pulling a lone blade of grass from her hair.

"Yeah, I ran into one or four vamps tonight." she said, sliding off her jacket.

"How's the ankle?" he asked.

With a sigh she sat down on the bed. "It's fine. I need to rewrap it though, the bandage came loose."

Spike smiled softly and kneeled down in front of her, slipping off her shoes and socks. He unhooked the tensor bandage, gently massaging her feet, his own hand having healed in no time. Buffy grinned at the attention she was getting and flopped back on the bed, letting Spike's cool, soothing hands caress her aching feet.

He wrapped her twisted ankle, cursing the demon that had done it to her, but at the same time glad that she'd gotten back into slaying, and back into life. _All it took was for me to be on the brink of death_, he thought to himself. _Why didn't I think of it before?_

She felt his hands slide slowly up her calves and thighs through her fitted jeans, coming to rest on her hips as he crawled up her body. She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down for a chaste kiss.

Her tongue slipped over his lips, requesting entrance to his mouth, which he allowed, their tongues dueling playfully. She brought her legs up on either side of his waist, locking her ankles around him.

Suddenly he broke the kiss and hoisted her up as he stood, causing her to squeal in surprise, and wrapped his arms around her body as he walked out of the room. She cocked her head and squinted at him, wondering what he was up to.

Spike returned her scrutinizing stare with a cocky smirk as he carried her down the stairs. Deciding to play her own game, she brought her lips to his neck, kissing and nibbling his skin, his earlobes and his Adam's apple. She loved the smell of him. Like rain and old leather, something she'd never noticed before, but now that she knew she loved him, everything seemed new and exciting. Discovering the little things about him that she'd failed to notice or care about before made her realize just how much she cared for him. He was like no one she'd ever met.

He set her down on the island in the middle of the kitchen, chuckling when she wouldn't unlock her arms and legs from around him. Delivering a searing kiss to her lips, he slipped out of her embrace and produced a blindfold from his jeans pocket.

A curious grin spread across Buffy's face as he covered her eyes with the black material, leaving her blind, even though the house was pretty much dark anyway. Sitting on the counter, she heard him open the fridge and take out bowls or dishes or other clinky things and set them on the table beside her.

After a few seconds, everything became silent. Dark and silence were never good things when Spike was around. Well, not _never _good, actually_ very_ good, but he had a sneaky, evil way of surprising her when she least expected it. Another one of the things she loved about him.

She felt something cool brush against her lips and she licked them unconsciously. Whipped cream, her taste buds registered, and she smiled.

Again the coolness brushed against her lips and she opened her mouth slightly, her tongue darting out to sample more of the sugary substance only to come into contact with a strawberry Spike held for her. She bit down on it, its sweet nectar flooding her mouth, the whipped cream smeared on her lips, immediately followed by Spike's kiss, she raised her hands to either side of his face, caressing his carved cheekbones, picturing his perfect face in her mind as she kissed him.

She felt his smile on her lips as he pulled away. She pouted slightly, knowing he was watching her. "Hey, I want some sugar of either the whipped cream or the you variety."

She heard him chuckle, followed by a low growl of pleasure as she ran her hands up his chest and over his shoulders, massaging his strong muscles. His hands slid up to grasp hers firmly, yet gently at the same time and he brought her hands to rest on either side of her.

Again he fed her a strawberry, but this time it was accompanied with a chocolate syrup coating that danced along Buffy's tongue. Spike knew very well that chocolate was her favorite food group.

After a few minutes of dabbing Buffy's neck, shoulders, and collarbone with chocolate and whipped cream, then excruciatingly slowly sucking and licking it off of her soft skin, Spike removed the blindfold, receiving a searing, passionate kiss directly after doing so.

She pulled him closer to her, tasting the tang of sugar still on his lips and tongue. He placed a hand under her knee and urged her toward him as she instinctively wrapped her leg around his waist.

He pulled her off the counter, forcing her to stand on her own two feet as he lifted her tank top up over her head. He slid his hands over her back, arms, and stomach, touching as much skin as he could before she pulled his shirt off of him, running her hands over his muscled chest, before he leaned down to kiss her once more, this time softer and slower, taking his time to taste her.

Her nimble fingers worked at the buttons of his jeans as he removed hers, sinking to the ground together. She gasped as he lay her down on the cold floor and made love to her, gently and passionately. Their first time since the demon attack as Spike had still been weak from the poison. And this time was different than before. This time she concentrated on feeling his love for her in his kisses, in the way his hands touched her body, seeing it in his eyes, and hearing it in his voice as he whispered her name. Before, she'd ignored all the signs that she was his goddess; she'd just wanted her escape and didn't care if it hurt Spike not to hear or see his love for her reflected back at him. She really had been selfish.

But for the first time in a long time, she felt whole. She felt loved. Of course, when she'd first come back, she knew her friends loved her, and she knew Spike was in love with her, but she couldn't feel it, she didn't want to. But after fighting the demon, everything changed. Everything seemed more precious to her, especially her friends and family.

As they neared climax, Buffy looked up into Spike's eyes. He was staring back at her, drinking in her beauty, the flush of her face, the hazel of her eyes, the blonde of her hair, the red of her swollen lips. And ultimately she made a decisionone that would change their lives for eternity.

She turned her head slightly, offering her neck to him.

Threading her fingers through his wild mess of spiked hair, she kissed him before bringing his lips to her neck. He placed a light kiss to her pulse, feeling it throb rapidly against his lips. "Are you sure, Buffy?" he whispered into her skin, and as she nodded, he vamped out with a quiet growl before gently sinking his fangs into her neck.

The sensations sent them exploding into ecstasy together, him from tasting her sweet, hot, blood and knowing now that she truly loved him, and her from being able to give herself to him so wholly and feeling the pain, followed immediately by the pleasure of her release course through her body.

As they both recovered from the mind-blowing experience, he gently kissed the wound he'd created with his fangs, knowing that it must have taken an immense amount of love and trust to share her herself so completely with him.

She curled up against him, her breathing finally returning to normal, as well as her heartbeat, as he repeatedly threaded a hand through her silky hair soothingly. He looked over at her, knowing this time he would not be disappointed.

"I love you, Buffy."

She met his lips in a gentle kiss before pulling back and smiling at him. "I love you too, Spike," she echoed, and then sighed with a grin. "But next time, could we avoid the cold floor?"

He chuckled before sweeping her up in his arms and carrying her up the stairs to the bedroom.

  
The End


End file.
